Subtle Happiness
by Rui Liana
Summary: "Winning isn't everything, it's only one thing."-Vince Lombardi. YukimuraOC. Please give it a chance...


Warning/s: OC? Bad grammar? And some sappy I'm-not-really-sure-what-it-is stuff? And I noticed there aren't many who write from Yukimura's point of view so I tried. I hope it isn't too out of character. I'm still trying to grasp his personality and I'm finding it a difficult task.

Disclaimer: Of course Prince of Tennis and its characters are not mine. They rightfully belong to Konomi Takeshi. And of course the song is also not mine. It's Senkoku by Yukimura Seiichi/Nagai Sachiko.

"_Leiko, Leiko-chan... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."_

Donna kotoba mo kikoenai furi

Door ni motarete kuzure ochite

(How many more words can I pretend I didn't hear?

I am leaning in at the door, collapsing, falling...)

Why is it that everyone around me gets hurt because of me? Everyone on the Rikkai team, I have hurt them in one way or another. And, you...

The one who I thought would understand me most, because you have been with me when I was in my weakest state. You have never known the Yukimura Seiichi inside the tennis courts. You didn't meet me as the captain of RikkaiDai, nor the Kami no Ko. Instead, you've encountered me as a normal 14 year old that was unfortunate enough to get in contact with a fatal disease.

"Don't you get tired?"

I paused for a while and looked at her in curiosity. "Of what?"

"Having to keep up this demeanor. It seems that everyone expects you to be strong, not to act like other people would have acted if they were in your state."

_I HAVE to._

"You've been keeping too much to yourself... " Then she chuckled softly. "I'm sorry. I probably wasn't making any sense."

"No, it's... It's alright..."

_You don't know me, that's why... It's alright..._

Yasashii kimi no koe ga hibiku yo

Mitsukasanaide yowaki na kokoro

Kikoeteru, wakatteru

Itsudatte soba ni ita kore kara mo?

(Your gentle voice is echoing, (but)

I cannot see through it with my weak heart

Hearing, Understanding...

After this, will I still be able to stay by your side from now on?)

You have always been so kind to me... I wonder, have I done the same to you?

"You? Mean? Of course not! You're... every bit of a gentleman!"

If so, then why couldn't you have had more patience to stay by my side?

But I understand the reason you had. I know I have been cold inside the tennis courts, always been so victory-driven-no one of whom you thought you knew, and... You have been so enduring already. But I just wish...

Kurikaesu nando demo

Onaji serifu mayotta mama

Oikakeru kie sou na

Ashioto ni ki gat suite

(It repeats many times

The same speech that leaves me confused

Chasing after you, I know you are leaving

I can tell be your footsteps)

"Knowing is different from understanding, don't you get that? It's the same with hearing, but not listening. You know, but you don't understand." Then she looked at me. It was not the same with the serene and content gaze she usually uses when looking at me. She was... disappointed.

I was confused at that time. What was she saying? She has never been disappointed with me- or anyone else for that matter. She was easily pleased and usually calm.

"Seiichi."

I kept quiet, waiting for her to continue, anticipating some kind of violent outburst or something similar to it. But the colors of her eyes changed. She didn't look angry, but in the depth of her eyes were pity and unhappiness.

_What? Why are you looking at me that way?_

"Why do you want to win so much? Do you... even understand how it feels to lose?"

_No, no... But I understand how painful it is to be unable to stand in that court again, how frightening the possibility of not being able to play tennis again. You know that, don't you?_

"You of all people should know the feeling of hopelessness- the feeling of impossibility to play in that court again. Why, why do you torment yourself in trying to achieve the absolutism of perfection?"

_I don't understand you..._

"You're... you're so different..." she choked out.

`_I know._

"I'm sorry."

_For what?_

"I... I guess I'm not strong enough."

_What are you talking about? You... You can't be saying that-_

"Seiichi," she turned her pleading eyes towards me. What? What was it for?

_Is it truly your wish to leave me? But I..._

" I want you to be happy."

_With me._

Those were my first words during that time we talked. I didn't know at that time that those were also my last.

She left. She went somewhere where she can't see or hear me anymore, somewhere where I can't reach her anymore.

Yozora wo miage nagareboshi mite

Negai goto sae ienai mama

(I gaze at the night sky and see a shooting star

But there is no wish that I can make)

Are you happy where you are now?

Tsuyoku naritai kimi ni aenai

Okubyou ni naru yowaki na kokoro

Asetteru, furueteru

Mayowanai sou kimete mou nando?

(I want to be strong, but it's not enough for you

My weak heart becomes fearful

Rushing, trembling,

No longer confused, I am now deciding, how much more?)

I began to understand what you meant when I lost. I was selfish and blind. I have hurt my team mates-people who I was supposed to guide. I realized why I have never felt content even after countless victories. I felt like it was meaningless, empty and only for prestige. But now, it's different.

I have already lost you though.

Kienokoru hoshitachi ni

Inori tsuzuke yoru ga akete

"Mou ichido" kurikaeshi

Sakenderu, ikanaide

(What is gone will live on in the stars above

This I continuously pray as the night returns

Repeating, "Once again"

Screaming out, unable to leave)

I've been fighting for the wrong reason. But I still don't understand. What am I supposed to fight for then? Sometimes I question myself, is it not the ability that makes a person win? So what if I was fighting for the wrong reason? Can a person not win by determination and ability alone?

"_Tennis is fun."_

I lost. Have I lost to those words? The happiness in understanding the underlying meaning of those words? Leiko, is that what you wanted to say? Did you just want me to forget everything else for a moment and be happy?

"Yukimura-buchou! Niou-senpai is being mean again!"

"Brat! Stop being so whiny!"

"Please, Niou-kun, just leave him alone."

"Hey Akaya~ I have some sweets!"

"Don't give him too much, he'll go on a sugar high and scare others."

"TARUNDORU!"

"Genichirou, that's the 5th time today."

"What are you guys doing?" Yukimura malevolently smiled at his team mates.

"Yukimura-buchou!"

"Go back to practice or else..."

"Hai!"

_The stinging pain is still there, but it's alright because it reminds me of the mistake I should never commit again. Leiko, are you happy?_

A/N: Thank you for reading. I'm not really sure of how to use that song and insert it in the story so I'm sorry if it went bad. And to all the grammar Nazi there, I'm sorry too, for the wrong grammars and stuff. I'm generally not a fan of teenage romance so I don't really have any real experience (maybe a crush or two, but that's all there is), so I can understand how lacking this is of any real emotion(?).

Umm... Please review? I'm not asking you to give me nothing but positive comments, but please be kind enough not to leave tear inducing hateful ones. I'm really more on the sensitive side. And I was thinking, if I got enough reviews that show that people are interested, I might make this add more on this and make it into chapters, but if not... Oh well...^-^


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